Anxiety

Millions and billions of disorganized thoughts rehearsing in random patterns in your head.  Today, every day, do something, stop thinking. You try to alter and calm yourself. Ha, don’t you know the joke is on you as long as you live! Welcome to the hyperactivity of your mind. It’s not a blessing, it’s not a curse, it’s just the way things are.Is it predisposition, or perhaps an overly concerned vision that you’re just feeding with every single thought you choose to lull yourself to? Could it be the death of your best friend, do you remember?  You were four. “Ogy died,” they told you.  What, how and why!  You couldn’t comprehend, but why would you understand death then? They told you children don’t die. Yet he did.
The women in the village spoke of some poisonous substance he accidentally drank. Others said it was heart failure. Whichever it was, or wasn’t, he’s dead. And you will die too, it’s just a matter of time, the clock is ticking… tic tac toc.
Don’t you wish you were one of those people who didn’t give a flying fuck?

There is now! Look! It is now now, how about this time. “You are perpetually sad”, well okay fine, maybe he doesn’t have a clue about what goes on through your brain. Perhaps it’s something that you should take the time to explain…
Oh! The strange pain on the left side of my chest shakes me out of my mental spiral.  What if it’s a heart attack? Oh God, No. No. No.  Maybe I could just be breaking my own heart.  Or maybe it’s indigestion, I did have too much of that pizza for lunch.

Must not google, must not google, must not…

Google!  Google knows everything about nothing at all.  So many symptoms, all of them present.  Here I am dying in my office during a nine to five. No! Calm down, calm down, it cannot be your heart, you had an ECG that time you went to the ER.No, no,  it cannot be my heart, I had an ECG those three times I went to the ER. Inhale exhale. Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! Inhale…
Sa ta ma na

Sa ta ma na

Sa ta ma na

Sa ta ma na

Sa ta ma na

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