You are not the loneliest whale in the world

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This image has been circulating for some time now, which in turn led me to conduct tons of google research on the topic, I dare you not to cry while reading:

weepingwhale

That image reminds me of conversations I’ve had with people, for a lack of better term conversations about whether “romantically unloveable” people exist.  Maybe, I’m dramatising, maybe it just means “companionship-less people”, people incompatible with companionship as is, any kind.  Kind of like the weeping whale, those people don’t project that “I’m the one that you want” vibe.  And that vibe has nothing to do with the human definitions of personality traits or concepts of beauty.

The reason why I’m blogging about this is because the other day, I felt like the weeping whale, for absolutely no rational reason, except perhaps my hormonal imbalance during PMS.  I was speaking to my friend about how it inspired me to write a post called “This is why you’re unloveable”, which obviously to her sounded like the most depressing thing she heard.  I didn’t mean it like that, it was meant to be a post about how being unloveable is a very common feeling, and how yes, you do have the power to reverse that train of thought.  So many people I come across feel like this whale, and clearly, I’m not exempt from those feelings! And then as I sat on a train for an hour or so, and as over-analysis worked its way through my brain, I realised how ungrateful and petty it is towards the whale to compare myself to his situation.  “No you don’t understand what the whale is going through, get over yourself and don’t demean his situation you human fool,” my inner voice shouted!

You are not the weeping whale, because no matter the frequency at which you fall in love, be it every year, every leap year, every dozen of years, or never, you have that possibility.  You are not the weeping whale, because you’ve missed so many opportunities! Not necessarily by close-mindedness, but because it wasn’t what you wanted at that point in time.  Which brings me to my next point: Don’t compare yourself to the weeping whale, just because you can’t have exactly what your greedy mind wants.

You are most definitely not the weeping whale, because you romanticise. You romanticise everything, from the person, to your feelings, to expectations.  It is those romanticised feelings that make you feel like the weeping whale; it is irrational and creates dissonance between your reality and your ideas.

Lastly, you are not the weeping whale, because you are not alone.  What you are is a picky introvert when it comes to ‘love’, with over analytical and idealistic tendencies  lifestyle. And that is okay.

One of the simplest lyrics that grounds me when I start feeling inept, in whatever the case may be, is probably by Regina Spektor “People are just people, they shouldn’t make you nervous.”   So all of you  who identify with this poor creature, and write poetry about your 52 Hertz reality, get out in the world, and get out of your head.

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