I once dated a guy who wrote me a love song and played it on his guitar for me.  Later, when I got into Tom Waits, I found out the guy I dated never wrote that song for me, it was already written for someone else.  That happens to be the nicest thing a guy has done in a romantic context for me.   Funny to think that the only romantic gesture I inspired was a con! 

On that note, I started seeing a guy the day after my birthday, a bit over a month ago.  We spent our first date visiting houses, it was the most sober I’ve ever been on a first date.  Surprisingly, despite my lack of intoxication, I felt immediately comfortable with him, and everything felt easy.  He got my humour, I got his and I did not have to explain myself for inappropriate or quasi-sarcastic jokes.  He kissed me on the tube, and such PDA left me feeling like a teenager.   He texted me that same night to make sure I got home fine and we spoke.

The weeks that followed, he wrote to me every day, we would skype, and he would call.  When I wrote “he would call” I did not mean it as some sort of 1990ies romanticizing metaphor…He would call.  Sure he would call when he’d be drunk, but he would call, nevertheless! We were having fun and I was enjoying his company, and from the seems and words of it, he was enjoying mine.

And so you must imagine my surprise and despair when texts just kind of stopped all together.  If there is one thing I learned through my past like-love interactions  it is to let things be, no matter how different I would want them to be.  And so I did just that, I let it be.  Of course he resurfaced with small talk, but who honestly likes small talk?  You know that thing you used to do when you were 5 years younger: eagerly get back to the person, just because you enjoy speaking with them?  Well that thing you no longer do now, because you realize now that it is just what it is: small talk, and that you don’t want that, nor do you need that.  And so you close that electronic window in a bitter-sweet haste, content to notice that for once, you are doing things on your own terms.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Memma Hough says:

    I love this. Well done, seeing people and situations for what they are is a true talent. one that sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever truly master… 🙂

    1. N says:

      I just saw this! Weeellll…it’s something that is easy to type in a blog post, but very hard to maintain consistently, for me as well!

  2. oh, I only just saw this! It explains stuff. Jeez, I’m sorry *snugs* But totally his loss – you smart, lovely lady! ❤

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